My sweet, sweet love:
You are 3 weeks old today, and I still feel as relieved and happy and in absolute disbelief that you are here, that you are mine, that I grew this little person inside me as the first day I saw your beautiful round eyes staring at me in wonder. I lay in bed and you are next to me sleeping peacefully, wrapped in a burrito -what we’ve renamed the swaddling process- that I can’t seem to perfect yet, but it’s good enough to allow you -and me- to sleep a few hours at a time. It’s been a challenging few weeks, ones that I don’t regret one bit, and in the midst of this zombie-like state that seems will never go away, I find myself anxious about you growing up, afraid that I will blink and you will be one year old, and then I’ll blink again in disbelief and you’ll be off to school. You still lay on my chest and shrink your legs up as you did in my belly, fold your little hands under your head, curl your fingers in a tiny fist… but to think that one day you won’t anymore, and that this day will come sooner than I think, is a little unsettling. I certainly don’t wanna close my eyes because, like the song, I don’t wanna miss a thing.
The past few weeks are still fresh in my head, but soon they will all become a blur of you growing and me lacking sleep, and I refuse to let the most precious memories I have of our first moments together float away. That’s why I want to start writing them, so I can revisit and relive them, so that even when you no longer need me to feed you and carry you and change you, I can remember the time when the only thing that made you sleep was resting your head on my chest and curl yourself up against me.